WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIWAYS?

So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?

To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.

HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE A FORD

FORD ACRONYMS:

Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road Dead

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Fixed On Race Day

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

Found On Russian Dump

For Off Road Death

it Freaking Only Runs Downhill

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)

Frigin Oakies Really Dig it

Funky Old Road Dog

Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty

Found on Road Ditches

PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER

"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."

This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Fords, our tools would rust.

This is your brain "CHEVY", this is your brain on drugs "FORD"

Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Ford trucks the worst always rest

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.

Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enoug to run a race before needing another weeks work.

WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS AND CARS MORE AERODYNAMIC?

So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.

WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Rustang, The Ford Muststink

WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?

Because the President drives a Ford

WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?

Would you like a tow home?

HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK OR CAR?

Put a Chevy engine in it.

HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?

As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.

WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?

A ford thunderturd

SPEED KILLS DRIVE A FORD LIVE FOR EVER

I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!

HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?

Fill it with gas!

The Ford Escort. Otherwise known as The Ford Escort Me To A Chevy Dealer!

Have You Out Driven a Ford Lately?

Ford is just another four letter word!

The Ford Ranger, Otherwise know as the Ford Danger!

The Ford Explorer, Otherwise know as the Ford Exploder!

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THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME POST THESE FORD JOKES! IF YOU HAVE ANY NEW ONES, E-MAIL ME AND I WILL POST THEM! THANKS!

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